This girl is more easily done than said...
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
