she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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