Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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