Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
