I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
