I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
