How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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