things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
