I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize