so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
