Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
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Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
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I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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