If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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