the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize