Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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