We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
