Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
one two three fourrrrnication!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
