But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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