If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
