I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
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My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
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She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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