i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
