She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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