I seem to have left my pride at pride
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize