my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
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I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
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Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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