So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
