We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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