And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
