my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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