I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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