I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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