im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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