At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
