um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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