im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
smell my finger.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
