Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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