When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
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so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
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I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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