I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she smelled like a LAN party
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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