What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Randomize
