My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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