did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
