Cold hands, warm shart.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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