I met the friendliest cop last night
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
