it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
