i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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