So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
