i don't like sucking hair
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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