Sponge bath it is.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
