Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
