So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
