we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize