Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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