i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
