the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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