So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
