i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
