Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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