Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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