hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
