You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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