Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
