I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
