did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
